Call me modest, but I am a great mum ! I love my kids, I tell them so frequently and I’m even nice to them most of the time. I am conscious of  building their self esteem and independence. Yet, I have a confession, I have on occasion smacked my kids ! It’s not something I’m  proud of  but in the last few weeks I have read several articles by those “holier than thou” outlining how abhorrent smacking is, how it should be made illegal and parents who smack vilified and burned at the stake !

I can’t believe that anyone would advocate smacking as an effective method of discipline . However, to try to outlaw it is to assume that it is a conscious act, carried out by perfectly in control parents. In my experience, smacking and learning not to is a rite of passage for many parents. As new parents the shock of the reality of parenting, the sleepless nights, the constant demands, the juggling of work and family  and self, combined with the power struggles we often encounter with  our children, can mean that smacking happens despite our best intentions.

I have smacked mine and every time been filled with remorse that I have allowed myself to get so pulled in that I have lost control.  I work hard to prevent it happening again. It is something that when it happens is  so powerful and shocking that I feel the emotional effect for days after.

There is something deeply disturbing about a large adult looming over a small child in anger. The creation of fear in a child is what we should be looking at eradicating. Smacking is the tip of the iceberg ! Its not necessary to hit a child to induce fear, screaming and shouting  and the silent treatment can be equally traumatic.  Parents who never hit their kids can say cruel things and destroy their children in other ways. So where do we draw the line ?

I think it is fantastic that we discuss the issue of discipline but I’m not sure how effective banning smacking will be. Looking at our success rate in other similar areas it would appear not too hopeful ! We can make as many laws as we like, but the reality is that disciplining children is as old as the hills and is something that most parents struggle with (even if they don’t like to admit it!) Hopefully the days of “wait till your father gets home” and the wooden spoon are gone,  what is needed now is education and understanding of the damage that smacking can do to your relationship with your child, not more impossible to implement laws !