INSIGHT
My coaching is based around two very simple questions “ What do you really want?" and “What is preventing you from getting it ?” The answers to these questions reveal a huge amount about you and how you relate to the world and can set you on the path towards transforming your life. How ? Firstly, we rarely give ourselves the luxury of sitting down and seriously thinking about what we want. By giving these questions the time they deserve, we can create a space, a gap and it is this gap that is so sacred and fruitful.
Secondly, we are quick to dismiss what we want as unachievable or unrealistic, without fully exploring the potential. By tuning into our thoughts, we can catch ourselves in the process of dismissal and question ourselves.. Thirdly, we are far too easily swayed by the doubts and fears of others. Understanding that other peoples fears are theirs, not yours, allows you to follow your dreams, despite what others may say.
How often do you blame others, or use others as an excuse for your inaction ? Can you think of an instance ? It could be your parents holding you back or maybe your boss not recognisng your talents. Maybe you don’t earn enough money or perhaps your husband is at fault ! By blaming others we give away our power and our emotional strength. By believing we have no choice we become paralysed and trapped, often in a cycle of anger and resentment. How much better to know that, no matter what reason you give for not following your desires, it is always your choice.
Decisions are not taken because someone else has forced us (although it may feel as though they have !) Sometimes, the choice might well be between a rock and a hard place, that’s life ! You still have many choices, you can give up, start again, try something different, sleep on it, ask for help, scream and stamp your feet ! Acknowledging the choice in every action, or inaction is crucial in enabling us to move forward.. In seeing that we are free to choose , we take responsibility for our lives and the consequences of our choices, this allows the cycle of frustration to come to an end.
TAKE ACTION THIS WEEK
1.Start thinking about what you want in your life . What do you want to be? What do you want to do ? What do you want to have ?
2. Write down 5 things under each heading.
3. Honestly, ask yourself what is preventing you from living the life you want? What story are you focusing on and do you really believe yourself ?
4. Rather than telling yourself that you ‘have’ to do something , what happens when you replace the word ‘have’ with ‘choose’ what does that feel like ?
Published in Septembers issue of The West Cork People
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